Corporate Ghetto

You know you are CORPORATE GHETTO if the following are true:


1. You don't officially start working in the morning until you read
your
e-mails.

2. You have at least one drawer/cabinet that contains more food than
office
supplies.

3. Not only do you know all the security guards, janitors, and
cafeteria
workers...ONE OF THEM HAS ASKED YOU OUT ON A DATE.

4. Your version of a conference call is when you call your friends and
plan
what you are doing for the weekend.

5. The only time your man/woman picks you up from work is on payday.

6. Friends and family members call you at work to cuss you out because
you
didn't answer your phone quickly enough.

7. You paint your nails at your desk.

8. When you are on a personal call you, laugh so loud your co-workers
on
the other side of the office come and ask you what's so funny.

9. You have pictures on your wall with you and your friends at the
club.

10. To beat the system, you have codes for personal calls that let's
someone know to call you right back. ("Let the phone ring two times
and
call me rightback")

11. You give your out-of-town friends your company's 1-800 number.

12. Before calling in sick, you rehearse your sick voice and sick story
several times out loud.

13. Co-workers inquire how your father's surgery went that required you
to
be out for days and you haven't seen your daddy since he left your
momma
when you were born.

14. You use the company's postage machine to stamp your letters.

15. Your kids' school supplies all have your company insignia on them,
or
you order personal supplies for you and your kids.

16. You call in sick on payday Friday and send your cousin to pick up
your
paycheck. (Now THAT'S REAL ghetto!! Get direct deposit!!)

17. You contribute $1 to the office Christmas party, eat the most food
and
take a platter of lunch meat and potato salad home to your family for
dinner.

18. Before someone uses your telephone at your desk, they have to wipe
the
chicken grease off the handset.

19. You call in sick on Friday because you went out on Thursday.

20. You don't like your supervisor and a couple other co-workers and
you
tell them off on a regular basis and wonder why you haven't been
promoted.

21. You get your haircut/hair done on lunch and come back two hours
later.

22. You tell your creditors off for calling you at work.

23. You come to work on Fridays dressed for the club.

24. Your kids call your job and say to the operator, "Let me speak to
my
mama"

25. You eat sunflower seeds at your desk.

26. You are sitting there reading this instead of getting your work
done.

27. You get a pedicure done for lunch & wear flip flops @ work.

28. You have a pair of slippers underneath your desk.

29. You play music @ your desk that you'd hear @ a club.

30. You crack gum @ your desk.

31. You have Bebe Kids on your cubical walls.

32. You own a mirror @ your desk & put makeup on @ your desk.

33. Your cousin, your sister-n-law, a friend from school all work w/
you.

34. You yell out of your cubicle to talk to someone who is NOT your
cubby
buddy. (sits nowhere next to you)